MY PERFECT LITTLE IMPERFECTIONS

Hey folks,

I hope you all had a good week. I also had to deal with some drama at home, but you know how these things are…

Anyway, a wise man once told me that when you think you are ready to settle down and get married, you should first of all ask yourself if indeed you can marry yourself. Well, last weekend, I got to asking myself that same question. If I proposed to me, and I accepted, would I like what I encounter with me? You see, I may seem pleasant on the outside, but getting to know the real me may be a daunting task.

First of all, I am not your typical morning person. Apart from the early morning crankiness before my morning exercise, I would have the sinuses to deal with. The thing is, my nose seems to wake up about two hours after I actually get up and so the noises I would hear are those of me trying to breathe without my nose…technically. One time, my mom said I sound like an old locomotive engine starting up after been out of use for several years. After my morning exercise and coffee, I like to delve straight into work. I don’t have time for morning chit chat and if I tried to start a conversation with me, I would probably receive a very stern verbal warning.

I get into a better mood by noon. I can be available for lunch and some good ol’ conversation. I like to surprise by showing up to sweep me away for a brief lunch date if I have the time. But if you don’t have the time, it will be taken as irresponsible and unacceptable. I am your average evening person and that’s because I am less cranky at that time and the chances of me upsetting myself by opening my mouth are greatly reduced. I like to hang out and have a good laugh after work. But that should be in a place and at a time picked by me, if not…let’s just say it wouldn’t be worth my while.

I always like to win an argument and one I cannot win with words, I have a signature look that would says in any language “You poor ignorant fool”. I am often very suspicious and like to take everything with a proverbial pinch of salt. If I suspect that I have been told a lie, I wouldn’t stop until I uncover the truth. I see it so clearly because I happen to have undergone intensive FBI training in my previous life.

Did I also mention that I was selfish? I also like to think the world revolves around me. Well, quite frankly, it does. If not, why would I being considering getting married to me?

"HOW VALENTINE DEY AFFECT OUR ECONOMY?"

Ok, get this.
This morning, i got a call from my friend/secret admirer/boyfriend/secret husband etc, etc...David Peter aka 'Tha Suspect'. Now for those of you who are reading my blog from your home under a rock in a cave somewhere, (lol) Tha Suspect is one of the most sought after producers in the country. He has worked with several big names in the industry and is quite an established artiste on his own.
Anyway, he called me today with a proposal about a mock essay competition he is running for Valentine's Day. "You see, umm, we want the top four essays to be posted on your blog and an opportunity for people to vote the best one", he had asked politely. I am all about creativity and writing and i thought was a brilliant idea, so i said yes!
So people, it's really very simple to win $100. All you have to do is write a 500 word essay in pidgin English on the topic; HOW VALENTINE DEY AFFECT OUR ECONOMY? and send to iamsuspect001@gmail.com before the 13th of February, 2012.
The top four essays will be posted right here for you all to vote.
What else can i say? May the best writer win!

Ciao!
Chioma

RELATIONSHIP 101: EMOTIONS VS TOLERANCE

Relationships are usually about two people putting in 50/50% effort to make it work...once there is a tip in the scale, the real problem starts. It is then up to both parties to identify the problem and nip it in the bud before it grows into something bigger than what initially started it. Voicing out grievances is key in problem resolution in any relationship, added with the passion to make the relationship itself work. It is also important to note that falling in and out of love is inevitable but it is the commitment and tolerance held by both parties that can make that relationship survive. That is to say that relying on your emotions in a relationship is a sure way to sink the ship because emotions, like the tides of the sea rise up and fall down. Any relationship built on emotions or feelings has a 20% chance of survival especially after a disagreement. But when key values such as patience, tolerance and commitment are thrown in, the survival chance goes up to about 80%. it may also be interesting to know that most people who base their relationships on emotions often expect the other party to be "perfect". It may sound strange but sadly true since we all know that perfection, in the real sense of the word, does not exist. An emotion-based relationship often expects no wrong, no flaws and no shortcomings. So when these mannerisms show up, it shakes the relationship to its foundation. At that point, it becomes, "I can't believe you did that" or "I don't know why you said that". A relationship not based on emotions would rather say "I do not appreciate what you just said/did but i bet you had good reason to..." Another interesting fact is that people who base their relationship on emotions, who in turn expect perfection, know that they are far from perfect and expect the other party to make up for their imperfections. This would obviously cause a tip in the scale as the relationship would be about one person and not the couple. If you have gone through this and realize that your relationship is based on emotions rather than tolerance and commitment, its not too late to start afresh. Every relationship is like writings on a slate that can be wiped clean...no matter how far you have gone.

BUN IN THE OVEN

Happy New Year folks!

So sorry this is late but you know what they say, better late than never eh?

Here’s a piece that is closer to fact than any of my previous works on this blog. In fact, I had to wait several months to get permission to publish this. It’s a fascinating tale and I know it’ll be worth the wait.

Enjoy!

Chioma

I ran into Dipo at a function after several years of not being in touch. I had seen him mount the podium to receive an award and met with him after the event. “Chioma!!!” he had screamed my name with so much excitement and given me a big bear hug. “It’s been like what? Seven years?” he asked and I nodded with a reminiscent smile.

Dipo and I attended to same university in the northern part of Nigeria. In our first year, we had taken a Drama course together where we both played the role of a married couple in a local theatre production. Dipo was a charming fellow and the bond we formed during the production stayed with us throughout our time in school. While in school, Dipo took up music production and before he graduated, became the most sought after producer in the state. Although, we were in different departments, we always found time once a week to play catch up at the cafeteria. Well, that was until he started dating Inyang in his final year.

“So… I can see the music business is doing great” I said pointing at his award as he walked me to his car. “Well, we can’t complain,” he said modestly. “And, Oh my! Is that a wedding band?” I asked reaching for his left had to reveal the shiny gold ring. “You didn’t even tell me!” I continued playfully hitting him in the shoulder. He seemed to blush as he said “No, babes, it’s no biggie”. I refused to accept that “No biggie? Who calls saying ‘I do’ to life imprisonment ‘No biggie’enh?” He laughed and put my head in a head lock “You never change sha,” he said. “But seriously, Sweetie,” I continued when I could release myself from his grip, “It was Inyang right?” “No…!” he replied sharply as if it was strange for me to have asked in the first place, “I married my queen; Bella and we have a baby girl together”. “Wow!”I exclaimed excitedly, “I’m so happy for you! But, wait, what happened between you and Inyang? I thought…?” I cut my statement short when I noticed him shaking his head sadly. “Babes…Inyang’s story is a very long story”

Dipo had met Inyang during his third year in school. I recalled the first time he talked about her at one of our lunch dates. “Babes! If you see this girl! Omo yen dun gan!” he said excitedly. He went on to vividly describe Inyang in such detail, it felt as if I had known her all my life. “Come on, let’s meet her! She seems like a wonderful person” I had said, trying to share in his excitement. “Just chill, Babes, ti eye ba ti ko si panpe, ma je k’omo!”

The next time I saw Dipo was two months later. After all efforts to reach him on the phone had been met with a dismissive “Babes, I’m in the studio. I will call you back.”He was driving his old Cherokee jeep through the school’s main gate when I cited him and flagged him down. When he pulled up close to me I saw there was a pretty girl sitting in the passenger seat. I had no doubt that it was Inyang. “My love, you have abandoned me!” I said when he wound down the glass. He laughed and started explaining how hectic work had been for him over the last few months. “And that’s why you can’t manage a simple Hello every now and then, come on now…” I had been saying when suddenly Inyang looked sternly at him and said “Baby, we’re late!” It felt as if someone had slapped me across the face as I couldn’t imagine the call for such attitude. “Well, a good morning to you, madam” I said to her, trying hard to cover the sarcastic undertone in my voice. To my surprise, Inyang looked me straight in the eyes and blurted “Good Morning to you too!” “Haba, Inyang, be nice to Chioma now,” Dipo had interjected almost sounding like he was pleading with her royal rudeness. She had turned sharply to him and retorted “Dipo! I said we are late! Can we go now?” I was too mad to speak but that quickly from anger to disbelief as I watched Dipo put the car in drive and slowly move away from me.

I smiled as I recalled several similar incidents that followed that one. Dipo slowly became I ghost of himself as he ignored all his friends on Inyang’s account. He ate, drank and breathed Inyang so much that if she sneezed, he would catch a cold. By the time we were in our final year, my friends and I had concluded that it was either he had a few lose screws in his head or Inyang was truly a super lover. I was not surprised when I heard that he had proposed to her on the Valentine’s Day of our final year during an award ceremony. “So what happened to you guys? I mean, it was quite obvious you two were going to settle down together,” I asked, genuinely interested. Dipo shook his head sadly and said in a voice that almost didn’t sound like his, “Chioma, dat one na very long tori.”

A few days after our chanced meeting at the event, I managed to track Dipo down to his new studio on the Island. The thing was, ever since he mentioned Inyang, my journalistic persona took over and I knew I wasn’t going to stop until I got the whole tale out of him. When we had gotten the pleasantries out of the way, I went on to ask him about what really happened to his relationship with Inyang and this was the story I got.

*

After we graduated from school, he moved back to Lagos and rented an apartment with Inyang. He went into the music business full-time while Inyang took up fashion designing classes. It was pretty rough for them the first few months as breaking into the Lagos music scene proved to be more difficult than he imagined. But with perseverance and hardwork, the money started coming in. The real trouble started when he bought a new car and surprised Inyang, expecting her to be happy for him. Instead she was angry that he hadn’t used the money to fulfill his promise of marrying her. It took a few days of pleading to get her to ride in the new car. But the fights didn’t stop there; in fact, they now took a whole new dimension. She made it a duty to pick fights with everyone from his studio employees to his mother. And the proverbial stroke that broke the camel’s back was the one he learned that she had physically assaulted his mother. He had come one to find his mother sitting at the door entrance and lamenting about her ordeal in the hands of his “wife”. He did everything in his power to get this mother to go back into the house and that included promising her that Inyang would leave his house the very next day. Eventually, Inyang had apologized that night and promised she would never do such a thing again.

The next day, he got a call from Inyang saying she wasn’t feeling very well and thus was going to the hospital. In the evening of that day, he got the biggest news of his life when she announced that she was three weeks with his child. At first, he had mixed feelings about it since he had been contemplating ending the relationship but the thought of having his very own child seemed good enough. He decided to accept Inyang and his unborn child and took his mother to see her parents in Akwa Ibom state for a proper introduction.

But the situation with Inyang did not change. It seemed as though as her pregnancy grew and became more obvious, her attitude towards everyone got worse. His mother eventually moved out of his house and swore not to come back until the child was born. All his friends and partners avoided his residence like a plague for fear of getting into a fight with Inyang. He too became fed up of the relationship and threatened that he would accept the baby but could no longer get married to her.

Tragedy struck when she was about seven months pregnant. He was working in the studio when she called him screaming that she was having pains in her abdomen. He had asked her if she could wait for him to hurry home and take her to the hospital but she declined saying that she had already called a nurse who worked that the hospital she was registered to come and take her. He became so worried after the phone call that he could no longer work. He left the studio a half hour later and drove home as fast as he could. When he arrived about an hour after the phone call, he knocked on the front door and Inyang came down the stairs to answer the door. When she opened the door, he saw that she had been crying and when he asked what was wrong, she raised up her gown to reveal that she was wearing blood stained panties with a sanitary pad. She started crying again saying “We lost the baby, Dipo, we lost the baby.” He was angry, sad, upset and frustrated all at the same time. But he knew that the first thing was to calm her and that was exactly what he did.

A few hours later when he was able to get her to sleep, he went into the bathroom to tend to his own broken heart. He had been crying silently for a few minutes when he decided to call his mother with the news. To his surprise, his usually over-emotional mother listened patiently as he related his experience that sad day. When he was done, she asked him, “So she went to the hospital this morning and when you came back, she came down the stairs to answer the door for you?” “Yes?” he had replied almost upset that his mother was dwelling on the flimsy details instead of the fact that he just lost his baby. Her next question had come as a complete shock to him, “She ori e pe sha?” He was so mad that he started yelling on the phone about how his mother doesn’t wasn’t his to be happy. But to all that she had simply replied, “Go and ask your wife what really happened to your baby.”

A few days after that unfortunate incident, he had come down with a cold, and unlike him, he felt the need to visit the hospital for treatment. When he got there, he became curious since that was the same hospital where Inyang had been attending her ante natal appointments. Since the miscarriage, he had had a lot of questions but he didn’t want to burden the grief-stricken Inyang with details of her ordeal. He had requested for her file when the nurse who had taken Inyang to the hospital that day appeared and began counseling him on getting through his current situation. He patiently listened to her as she preached on about how God was going to bless him with another child. He then assured her that he was fine but he only wanted to see Inyang’s file. She suddenly became hostile saying that it was against company policy for patients to see their files. He immediately knew something was fishy so he raised an alarm and threatened fire and brimstone if he wasn’t allowed to see the file. In the commotion, the hospital MD came out to calm the situation and personally handed him Inyang’s file saying that there was nothing wrong with him requesting for his wife’s medical information. To his surprise, the only information that the file contained was the first time he brought Inyang to the hospital to be treated for malaria fever over a year ago. He was still in shock when his phone ran with a call from Inyang demanding to know what he was doing at the hospital at that time. He had simply told her that if she wanted to stay alive, she should pack her things and leave his house before he got back.

When he returned home that evening, Inyang was packed and gone but she left a note begging for his forgiveness as she had only done what she did because she loved him. The next day, her mother had called him pleading with him to take his wife back. He had calmly listened to her before he threw her a few questions of his own;

“Was she ever pregnant?”

“If she wasn’t, how does one explain the morning sickness, weight gain and of course her swollen belly?”

“If she was, how did the pregnancy magically disappear without his knowledge since they both lived in the same house the whole time?”

He said that her mother became silent. As silent as I was when he finished this shocking tale.

TRICK OR TREAT?

Hey Peeps,
I decided to try my hand on a narrative this time. It was the way i started as a teenager and after a few days of "uneventfulness" in my life, my creative juices started working like they used to...

Best compliments of the season!
Chioma

Tunde loved his wife very much.

He pushed the car gear into park and let the engine run. The address wasn’t very hard to find and this was also the area in which he grew up. He exhaled deeply as he thought of his wife; Ann. She was so beautiful and so smart. So what on earth was he doing here?

He remembered when they met ten years ago. She was working as a teller in one of the popular banks where he had an account. She had greeted him politely and smiled a smile that he would never forget for the rest of his life. He knew at that moment that she was the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Six months after their meeting, he had asked her to marry him and she had screamed “Yes!” at the top of her voice. On their wedding day, all he could think about was how beautiful she was. He had stared into her big brown eyes and known that she was the only woman right for him.

As he sat down in his car and looked into the darkness of this cool November night, he wondered how it was possible for someone so right to become so wrong.

It wasn’t that things were so bad between them, it was just that Ann was so angry all the time. The first two years had started off fine. They both had their relatively good jobs, then the twins were born and they were all happy. But then it became increasingly hard for Ann to cater to two little children and manage a ten- hour job. When the twins were eight months old, Ann found out she was pregnant again and said it was his fault. He recalled coming home late that night after a stressful day spent in long meetings to find Ann sitting in the kitchen fuming. She had called him all the names from Bastard to Retard before he even got to know what the problem was. She blamed his incessant whining for sex especially when she claimed she was not safe. She swore on her father’s grave that she wouldn’t let him touch her in another one year and threatened she was going to see the doctor to have it removed. He had mustered all the strength he had left to calm her and make her see some sense in children being a gift from God. Shortly after the baby was born, he got a promotion at work and they didn’t have enough time to celebrate when Ann had gotten a letter from her office terminating her appointment.

That was when the real trouble started.

The fights became more and every time there was one, she used it as an opportunity to blame him for the loss of her career and too many babies to take care of. One time, she called him a fool whose master plan was to turn her into a housewife. Tunde tried not to get mad at all her spiteful comments. He had always known she had a bad temper and could say the worst things in rage. But he also knew that her anger was fleeting. She would apologize after a few hours and make up for it with a lovely meal or some good love-making. But over the years, the fits got more, the apologies got less and the sex went to zero.

He smirked sarcastically in the car as he thought of the sex.

He recalled their honeymoon which they spent on the beautiful island of Crete. He knew the things that Ann could do with her body and just how far she was willing to go to please her man. Unfortunately, with each year spent together, that willingness seemed to disappear. After the twins were born, he had noticed she became uncomfortable with her body. She had an episiotomy and she was afraid she was not as tight as she was before. It had taken weeks of convincing for her to make love to him after which he assured her that there wasn’t any difference. After that hurdle came the baby excuses. There was always one or two babies with them who always managed to wake up whenever he made a move. And when they weren’t there in person, Ann had a notion that they were not asleep yet and thus could wake up and walk in on them.

Tunde was never comfortable talking about their sex life but when he realized that they hadn’t done it in almost a month, he had to speak to a psychologist friend. Dr. Tony had helpfully suggested romance, date nights and role playing to him. In his opinion, Ann was made up of two personalities now; the wife and the mother and spending too much time wearing her “mother” hat was adversely affecting her “wife” hat. According to him, making gestures that would awaken her mind towards her “wife” nature would help their sexual life.

 It worked for only a few months.

Even now, sitting outside an unfamiliar house, he tried hard to remember when last he had made love to his wife. It was about a month ago, when he came back from a friend’s bachelor’s eve party. After a few glasses of champagne he had come home almost begging her to do it with him. She had considered he hadn’t been in any fights with him for the past few weeks and he had bought her a pair of gold-plated earrings recently, so she agreed. Halfway through, she heard one of the twins screaming “mommy” and urged him to ejaculate quickly so she could go see. He had told her that the live-in nanny would get her but then the girl started crying so Ann hissed and pushed him off her, mumbling something about how she had already told him to “cum” and he was wasting time. He could have angrily gone to bed that night but the alcohol in his system wasn’t helping so he had to help himself in the shower.

He turned off the ignition and got out of the car. The gate of the house was open so he walked right in. The house was recently painted in pale yellow and had a red roof with deep red mahogany doors. He walked up to one of the doors and knocked gently. He could hear SADE’s ‘Your love is King’ playing from inside. He smiled to himself as the door opened and an attractive young lady popped her head out. “Good evening, please I’m looking for Ada, is she in?” he asked politely and somewhat shyly.

“She’s inside, come in, I’ll take you to her apartment” the lady said almost sounding like a robot.

Two months ago, he had met Ada at the nearby gym.

The first time he saw her, she was working out on the treadmill one hot Saturday morning. She was very beautiful and had a body that Beyonce would die for. He was never attracted to full bodied women but Ada was exceptional. Unfortunately, he wasn’t the only one attracted to her. A few single guys who had been pretending to be lifting weights were the ones who made him notice her when she walked in. They had been talking about the new James Bond movie when one had stopped the conversation with a hushed “See her! See her!” He had involuntarily turned to ‘see her’ as well and was completely enchanted by her beauty. For two weeks, he kept coming to the gym at the same time to see if he would run into her again but she didn’t show up.

However, luck was on his side on lazy Saturday afternoon when he had agreed to bring his family to the club. The kids were off playing soccer with Ann when he decided to do a few laps in the pool. He had gotten through one lap when he noticed her beautiful bikini-clad body get out of the pool. He immediately felt the beginning of an erection and was so glad he was far away in the deep end. She suddenly turned around and locked eyes with him, then smiled. He felt like an awkward teenager as he tried to smile, wave and control the growing bulge in his Speedos. He became distracted when his last child had surprisingly freed himself from his mother and was running towards the pool area screaming “Daddy!” He had to get out of the pool and attend to his family as Ann and the other two came up right behind him. But from the corner of his eye, he saw Ada get into the changing room, dress up and leave.

The next weekend, he showed at the gym with the hopes of running into her. He had been there for about an hour when she walked up to him on the treadmill.

“Now what sort of gym plays SADE as work-out music?” she said to him with a laugh. He was supposed to say something, but he opened his mouth and nothing came out. He was stunned by how beautiful she was up close even with a sweaty brow and no makeup on.

“Oh! I’m sorry, I’m Ada,” she said with a smile and stretched out her hand for a shake. He took it and politely introduced himself. She looked around suddenly and said “I don’t see your family around, is today Let Daddy Off day?” He laughed at her sense of humor and replied “Oh! Haven’t you heard about it?” They had exchanged numbers that day and started chatting every day from then on.

He later found out that Ada was a Marketing Executive with a renowned insurance company. She lived with her sister her in Lagos since her parents were settled in the east. One evening, he had taken her out to dinner after which he dropped her off where she could take a cab home. He thanked her for coming out and she surprised him by leaning over to kiss him very deeply. He had just sat there, shocked and unresponsive. She made a little laugh and looked him seductively in the eye “Tunde…you know you deserve a treat… why don’t you come over to my place tomorrow evening and we’ll see about that”. She immediately got out of the car and walked away so conscious of the fact that his eyes were glued to her voluptuous backside.

Indeed, he deserved a treat, he thought to himself as he knocked on the door the lady had directed him to. It was a gift, a kind gesture to a man in need. If Ann didn’t have time or the thought to give this gift, why should he decline it from someone else? It wasn’t that he loved his wife any less, he was just thinking about himself; for once in ten years.

Ada opened the door and greeted him with a beautiful smile. She was wearing a purple negligee that left little to the imagination. As he entered her apartment, he pushed all his thoughts out and listened to the soothing sound of Sade Adu’s voice coming from the stereo “…your kisses ring…round and round and round my head, touching the very part of me…”

THE OLDER THE WINE…(2)

A few weeks later, after my boss had congratulated me for winning the account, I decided to pay the client a courtesy visit to see how things were going. I was walking through the front door when I bumped into Sydney*. We exchanged pleasantries and he excused himself. He had taken a few steps towards the parking lot when he spun around suddenly as if he recalled something. “Ummm…hey…I was actually on my way to have lunch with an old friend” he said smiling “if you are not too busy, would you accompany me?” I smiled to myself as I wondered how busy I could possibly be to turn down such an important invitation. “Actually, I was to have a meeting with Sam* (the account manager) but he just texted me that he is out of the office”, I lied “So, lunch wouldn't be such a bad idea”. “It won’t” he concurred with a flirtatious wink.

Lunch for me is usually a trip to the nearest confectionary for chicken and chips on a very good day but lunch in Sydney’s world was a totally different ball game. So when his SUV we drove in pulled up at the Hilton, I knew I had stepped into a world that I wouldn’t forget in a hurry.  When we walked into the restaurant, it was a smiling Caucasian man that stood up to greet us. “This is my close friend and business partner; Mark*. Mark*, this is my new friend and business partner; Chioma”, Sydney went through the introductions. I was laughing at the “business partner” title when Mark* took my hand tenderly to his lips “I’m pleased to meet you, vous avez une beauté si enchanteresse.” I was completely smitten even though I had no idea what in God’s name he just said to me in French. “Si vous continuez à essayer de la duper avec votre accent et je lui dirai ce que sont un joueur vous!” Sydney seemed to playfully retort him and they both laughed. “Hey, hey, what is going on here?” I asked totally lost in the sudden language change. Mark pulled out my sit as he explained “Pardon me, mademoiselle but your friend here was reprimanding me for complimenting you” he smiled revealing his tobacco-stained teeth. “Well, with four ex-wives and a chain of broken hearts under his belt, who knows what other strategies he’s deploying?” Sydney explained while we both laughed.

During the three-course lunch, the two old friends played catch up while i learnt a little this and that about Sydney. Like Mark, he too was a divorcee and he had a 20 year old daughter who lived in Australia with her mother. While we were having desert which comprised of delightful waffles laced with whipped cream and strawberries, Mark excused himself to go tend to his addiction, giving Sydney and I some alone time. He looked into my eyes with a teasing smile for a few seconds then asked if I had a husband or boyfriend. “None of the above” I responded matching his gaze. He seemed genuinely concerned “Why not? You haven’t found your type?” I laughed as I replied, “Quite frankly, I don’t know my type…I just fall in love… I guess.” He sipped his wine slowly then nodded his head in agreement still looking into my eyes, he said, “After all, the heart wants what the heart wants.”

That weekend Sydney took me out dancing. And it wasn’t one of those new clubs that play hip hop music. He took me to a Salsa dancing bar where we drank Mojitos and danced the night away. By the end of the night, I was sure where all that was heading and even though I wanted to kick myself for giving in so quickly to his advances, I was too buzzed to care. We drove to the Hilton where the Floor Manager led us to his reserved penthouse suite. It was an exquisite room and I must say worth the hundreds of thousands of naira it cost. He went into the bathroom and I got comfortable on the bed. When he came out, he stopped and smiled at me, “Do you know how beautiful you are?” he asked as he approached me. He climbed onto the bed and cupped my face in his hands and slowly kissed….my forehead. I raised one eyebrow and opened my eyes to look at him as confused as I could possibly be. He immediately got off the bed and headed to the door, “There’s something I need to sort out in town…I’ll be back soon”. I heard the door shut before I could even speak the words brewing in my mouth.

“Just like that?” Kate* asked me the next morning as she munched the pancakes on our breakfast tray. “Hmmph! My sister… Na so I see am o” I replied almost sounding sorry for myself. I had invited Kate* to the suite last night when all efforts to reach Sydney* had proved abortive. I was even more upset when the Floor Manager had showed up in the morning with a lush breakfast that Sydney had instructed him to serve me. “Anyway, weren’t you the one going after an old man?” Kate asked me mischievously, “And how is that helping??” I retorted angrily. “Ehn…maybe he can’t…you know…perform!”

The next time I saw Sydney was a few days later at a Shopping Mall across town. After several attempts to see him at his office without success, I had concluded that he didn’t want to be reached. I was about to walk into the cafeteria where he was having coffee when another lady beat me to it. She was a tall, slim and very beautiful blonde. He stood up as she approached his table, hugged her lovingly and kissed her…on the lips. I stood there in utter shock not knowing whether to continue towards him or just walk away. Then I noticed Mark* join the two lovebirds with his own cup of coffee. The three smiled pleasantly as Sydney introduced the lady to him. He said something I couldn’t make out and took her hand tenderly to his lips…

THE OLDER THE WINE…

Hello People,

Firstly, let me apologise for the long silence. In the last few months, my job description changed and i was saddled with more responsibility. It's been hectic, but God has indeed been my strength. So! Here's something... let me know if you like it ok?

With love from Chioma.

They say that there are only a few guys that every girl must date before eventually getting married; the good guy, the bad guy and the older guy. In my case, after my own fair share of the good, the bad and the ugly I knew that it was only a matter of time before the laws of the universe sent an older guy my way.

It all happened one Thursday afternoon when I went for a presentation to a prospective client. I woke up that morning feeling really good and I tried to put that feeling into my look that day. So when I arrived at the client’s office, I was beaming with a smile and dressed to kill. A few minutes later, I was ushered into the board room where a met with five executives one of which was a handsome middle aged gentle man with a distinctive grey moustache. As I started my presentation, I tried to maintain eye contact as I was trained to but I couldn’t help but notice the Mr. Grey moustache was busy on his blackberry phone throughout. At first, I found it quite peculiar but as we progressed, I found the attitude quite rude. At the end of the session, while we concluded negotiations, he was the first to bolt out of the boardroom without managing a “goodbye”

“Who does he even think he is?!”I was fuming on the phone to my friend Kate* an hour after the awkward meeting, “If he wasn’t interested in the product, he could have just stayed away! No one had a gun to his head!!!” Kate did her best to calm me and advised me to hope for the best from the other four interested executives. A week later, I got a call from the client’s secretary inviting me for a meeting with the Chairman as he needed to clarify before signing the deal. I was so excited about the upcoming meeting with the Chairman because I knew that meeting him would boost my chances at getting that account. The only curious thing was that the meeting was on a Saturday afternoon and when I asked the reason for such an unusual time, the secretary informed me that the Chairman was least occupied at that time.

I showed up at the office early and when I knocked, I was quite shocked when Mr. Grey moustache opened the door. “Hi!” he said and smiled as if he was genuinely excited to see me at the door. I managed a forced smile and informed him of the purpose of my visit. “Yeah, I know, Come on in”, he answered and ushered me into the office. I noticed the office was less crowded and the staff was casually dressed as it was a weekend. As I followed Mr. Grey moustache in, I had ample time to look at him from behind. He could have been between 50 and 60 but he walked with the gait of a 20 year old. He was wearing a tee shirt and blue jeans and I must say, smelt like a million bucks. “If only he didn’t have such a bad attitude”, I mumbled under my breath.

He led me into a large office and asked me to please shut the door and have a seat. Then he walked behind huge table and sat into the large arm chair. “YOU are the CHAIRMAN?” I blurted. “You sound disappointed” he laughed as he reached for his phone and started punching the keys. I apologized for my reaction and we went right into the business of the day. I started to look at him differently when I realized that he had all the information from my presentation that I had assumed he was not interested. At the end of the meeting, I got to know a few things about Mr. Grey moustache, like his name, which was Sydney* and yes, he was indeed born in Sydney, Australia. He founded the company a few years ago in the US and started running the Lagos office when he relocated last year.

As he escorted me outside the office premises, I found myself drawn to him in a very curious manner. I wasn’t sure whether it was the grey moustache or the obvious power he wielded. He could have been at least three times my age and though he was good-looking, he didn’t quite fit my “type”. As I drove away, I couldn’t help thinking of what it would be like to date someone his age. He belonged to the generation that still opened doors for ladies and stood up for the lady to sit at the table. My curiosity got the better part of me; this was one dish I was willing to try.

 He smiled at me as he waved when I drove out of the parking lot. I knew that smile; that definitely would not be our last meeting…