Wednesday, 21 March 2012

THE ROAD TO INSANITY (2) by Dr. Rey Smith

Hello People,
I hope you have been having a good week. Mine has been pretty eventful, but, I will give you that gist later. So here's the concluding part of THE ROAD TO INSANITY and it was written by one of my ardent readers; Dr. Rey Smith. It's quite a story, I must say, almost as if I had written it myself.
Check it out!

It was now 11.47pm. Kaka did not know where to go. It’s been over 4 hours she left the house, driving aimlessly about in the rain with her daughter.
She couldn’t go to her parents’. She wasn’t in for the usual endurance pitch from her parents: “You have to endure o. There has never been a single-mother in our family line and you will not be the first”. As if being a single mother is leprosy.
Then she remembered the refuge home for women suffering domestic violence, run by the Stella Damasus, the Nollywood celebrity. She had read about it on the internet.  She looked about for a safe place to stop and park. Then her daughter woke up. While she rocked her back to sleep with one hand, she used the other hand to search on the net with her phone for the address of the refuge home.  117, Adeniran Olusanya, Surulere. 
“Madam settle us o”. She heard a guttural voice from her side of the car. She looked up, there were two men there. Hungry looking, bloodshot eyes, scary faces. She froze. She knew any false move, she would be in trouble. “Madam we no be beggars o. We go waste you and your pikin now if you no cooperate. Wind down, wind down”, the taller, meaner one commanded.  As he spoke, he reached for an object from inside the rucksack he was carrying.
Something told Kaka, “You will be dead in the next minute if you do not move!”.  She summoned her courage and zoomed off at a neck-breaking speed. The two men ran after the car. One of them hit the wind screen and shattered it in the process.  She screamed at the sound of shattered glass. But she moved on.  She was lucky the road was near empty. Her baby was now crying hysterically. “Sorry baby, we will both be okay”. She stopped,  after she had driven at top speed for about 20 minutes, when she got to a gas station where the attendants were wrapping up the day’s activities. She was visibly shaken. 
“Na those bad peoples o. Madam why you too dey waka for night with small pikin like this? Bad peoples is too plenty for road for night o”. That was the response of the night security man as she tried to narrate her ordeal to the attendants. “Where would she start from?” she thought to herself as the yellow-stained-teeth security man walked away apparently in disgust at her for being out so late.
She rolled up her glass and continued her journey to the refuge home. She got there 12:50am. Kaka got out of the car and banged at the gate. No response, no sound. From outside, the place looked desolate. What was she to do? She banged at the gate again. This time harder and repeatedly as she cursed Jide under her breath.
After a while, she heard a voice: “Who is you? We don close o! Come tomorrow”. The sound of a voice was a relief.
Kaka stayed two days in the refuge home before she contacted her parents on phone.  Her parents had gone visiting her at home when they discovered Jide’s almost lifeless body on the floor of the living room with blood stains around his head and on the rug. Kaka was nowhere to be found. They had rushed him to the hospital and he regained consciousness the following day. Her parents were by Jide’s bed side when her call came in. Her mother was livid on the phone: “It is forbidden for you to raise hands to beat your husband, talk less of beating him to a coma. Abomination! I didn’t raise you to be a husband beater o”
No one was willing to hear her own side of the story. She was the villain and Jide, the victim. So sad.  Jide had asked  to be given the phone to speak with her. He apologized profusely to her and asked her to come back home. Kaka would not bulge. Jide was wondering what a scandal it would be, if the church got to know the rift between him and his wife, especially his wife-beating habit. What a shame it would be for the church to learn that his wife had sent him to the hospital bed from beating.  His church membership may dwindle further. He could not afford for this ministry business to fail. What to do? He thought to himself. For the sake of the ministry, he has to keep his family together.
When Jide was out of the hospital the 3rd day, he went to the refuge home with Kaka’s parents and they begged and pressurized her to return to her matrimonial home. She eventually gave in and returned home with Jide.
That was to be the greatest mistake of her life.
The bandage and wound on Jide’s head was explained off to the church and friends as a domestic accident and life went on as usual for another four months.
One Sunday evening, an argument had ensured between Jide and Kaka over an amorous text message Kaka saw on Jide’s phone from one of the church members in the choir. Her hunches had told her all along that something was going down between her husband and Ifeoma. Now, this text confirmed she was right all along. When she confronted her husband with the text, he was enraged. He screamed at her: “What are you doing with my phone! How dare you touch my phone! Since when have you started running through my messages?  You bitch! Don’t you have respect for my privacy?” Kaka barked back: “ Which privacy?  I can’t touch your phone, but I can touch your private part when you are horny. Which one should be more private?”
Jide threw her a blinding slap. She fell on the floor. He lounged at her on the floor, screaming: “You will not get a second chance to humiliate me! You bitch!” He grabbed her head and hit it violently with so much hate in him, on the floor severally. Kaka passed out.
It was Jide himself who rushed her to the hospital. Ironically, as he drove her unconscious body through the streets in his car, the DJ on radio was playing Tracy Chapman’s “Last Night”.
Kaka came out of the coma after five days in the hospital and she was never again to regain her sanity. She had become “one of them thang” at the psychiatric hospital.

Wednesday, 29 February 2012

THE ROAD TO INSANITY

Kaka was driving as fast as she possibly could in spite of the pouring rain.
She glanced into the rearview mirror at her one year old baby girl fast asleep in her child seat. She was in her cute Barney pyjamas and her face was as peaceful as an angel.
“Evil angel,” she muttered under her breath as she cursed DNA for giving her all her father’s facial features. She glanced at the sleeping child again. She could almost see the crimson red trickle over the right eye moving towards the right nostril. She shook her head to get the image out and concentrated on what she could make of the road in the heavy downpour. She saw bright red tail lights a few kilometers ahead and thought to herself to follow them. She was going to drive tonight as long as there was a road underneath her tyres. She had money in her bag and fuel in her tank and she was going to go as far as they could take her.
She glanced at her baby once more and suddenly felt pity for the innocent child. What on earth was she going to tell her when she asked why she couldn’t go back home? What was she going to say when she asked for her daddy?
Her mind went back to the Jide, her husband, lying almost lifeless on the living room floor. She was certain that their expensive Persian rug would be soaked in his blood by now. May be he was dead, she thought almost emotionless, or maybe he was just unconscious.
She too had been in that same position, almost a year ago. She recalled that she had just had the baby and they had been arguing about his mother coming to live with them after her first stroke. Her stand was that it would be difficult for her to take care of the baby, go to work and still cater to an invalid. He felt insulted that his mother would be called an invalid instead of believing in faith that she was “strong”. She had emphasized that truly his mother was an invalid since the stroke had left the right side of her body paralyzed and so needed constant attention. She had barely finished her statement when he had given her a resounding slap. It wasn’t one of those slaps that gave you the opportunity to stand and be shocked, it was the kind of slap that sent her spinning across the living room and over the sofa.
She smirked sarcastically as she remembered trying to fight back with all the strength she could muster. That was another mistake because he took that to mean disrespecting his position as head of the house. After a while she pulled her thighs to her chest and curled up into a ball on the floor assuming the only defensive posture she had learnt from her childhood karate lessons. He kicked and punched for a while but when he saw it was impossible to hit her hard enough in that position, he reached for his belt. He had gotten a couple of lashes in before he lost grip of the steel buckle. Amidst her baby’s wailing, she had heard the clang of the metal as it broke into her skull.
She had awoken the next morning in the hospital with short term memory loss and six stitches over her left ear. She recalled there were flowers all over her hospital room and Jide was as apologetic as ever. She had sworn to leave him after that incident but when he got family and friends to plead with her, she decided to stay.
The rain was starting to stop and she breathed a sigh of relief. She looked into the rearview mirror at the face of her baby. The same face had brought her so much pain and unhappiness. Now she only wished she had seen the signs. She wished she had seen something that would make her suspicious before she married him. But there had been nothing, nothing at all.
When Jide proposed to her a year after they started dating, he had just started working in one of the prominent commercial banks. However, after their wedding, the CBN consolidation exercise took place and his bank had to merge with another bank and in the process, Jide lost his job. Shortly after that, he became born again and started spending more time in their neighborhood church than he did at home. They were both hopeful for a new job while she was managing a small business centre within the area. When business was good, she was able to provide for both of them. The real problem started when Jide had a disagreement with the Senior Pastor of the church which led to him leaving the church to establish his own. At first, she had been unsure of the idea of starting a church in their home but she had prayed about it and decided to play the supportive wife.
...to be continued

David Guetta - When Love Takes Over (FeatKelly Rowland)

Sunday, 26 February 2012

SINGLE AND SCREWED?

Hello People!

Sorry for the week long silence. You see, when its close to the end of the month like it is now, we salespersons turn into android robots trying to meet up the monthly target.
'Tis crazy indeed.
So this weekend i made the biggest mistake any single person can ever make; I agreed to attend my friend's baby's one year old birthday party.
Before you go judging me, let me explain the situation and why I said it was such a fiasco.
You see, Chika* and I had been best friends all through school but when we graduated and started to find our paths in life, we had a big fight that ended in our seperation. That happened four years ago. Well last week, I was going through some old documents when I saw her old number scribbled on a magazine. I decided to dial the number and surprisingly, she was still using the same number.
The following day, I was eager to see her so we fixed a lunch date. During our date, I learnt that she had gotten married and had a baby. So she pleaded with me to attend her baby's first birthday party and i foolishly agreed.
Upon arrival, Chika* had greeted me at the gate saying that I looked so classy which in her opinion "would drive the guys away" and that "I wasn't getting any younger". I was still trying to recover from that strike when her elder sister (who was married straight out of school) came out and said that I looked like i had had three kids since the last time we saw each other.
At this point, I was doing everything in my power to lash out at someone so I calmly sat down under the canopy, far away from any family. I was sitting peacefully when I felt a tug at my dress and when I turned around, it was a little girl calling me, "Mommy...Mommy". I was so close to blurting "Bitch! I ain't yo momma!!!" then I saw tears in her eyes, so i patiently carried her and petted her.
A few minutes later when I thought my troubles were over, I saw Chika*'s mom come out of the house to greet the guests. She came towards me and when Chika* tried to make her remember who I was, She said, "OOh! I remember!" Then she looked around as if she was looking for someone and said, "But, where's your husband now?"
My eyes were shooting missiles when I replied "Mummy, Please, I AM NOT MARRIED, I am single and apparently screwed for being around you people!"

SMH

*not the real name

Sunday, 19 February 2012

THE MARRIED SIDE OF SEX

Oh, how I love my married friends.
And in my opinion, married women are the freakiest people i know. On one occasion, i was chatting with a friend who has been married for seven years when she suddenly sent me "You this Chioma, I really wonder what you sound like in bed..."
Yes, I was as shocked as you are right now. First of all because i recall our conversation as being not in the least related to sex and secondly because this my friend is one of the most "church-eous" people i know.
My reply was simply confirmatory, "Madam, please what year did we graduate from school?"
She had sent me an "lol" and yet another shocking message "What? You don't think I know you will like big dicks?"
My dearest, readers, please pardon my language, it is all to drive home a point that I DO NOT feel comfortable with my married girlfriend telling me just outside church today that my arse will definitely look nice when taking it "doggy-style."
It is only my married friends that want to give me a blow by blow account of how sex with their husbands is so great and spontaneous. I have become their sexual sounding board and trust me, that is not fun at all.

Egba mi o!
Chioma

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Friday, 17 February 2012

DEATH HAS A FACE

Hello folks,
Let me first of all say a big THANK YOU to all those who participated in the just concluded competition both as writers and voters. The whole cyber-event was a huge success and i have YOU ALL to thank for it. I have been informed that the winner has picked up his prize money and i will be posting the photo pretty soon.
On another note, I was driving to work yesterday morning and I heard on the news that the victims of the January fuel subsidy protest violence in Kano were going to be compensated. At that moment, my heart went out to them and i wrote this poem right there in my car.
So, this is dedicated to all those who lost their lives in the Fuel Subsidy protest violence all over the country. May your labour and death, not be in vain.

They told me it would be peaceful,
Come out, Come out, they said, it’s time to take a stand,
They said we are the future and the nation’s fate was in our hands,
They didn’t say that also in our hands was death and destruction,
I heard the noise and ran to a safe place I had never been before,
Come in, Come in, they said, we are to keep you safe,
I heard the sound as he cocked his rifle,
I saw his eyes as he aimed and pulled the trigger,
I saw his face, it was the face of hope and death.